Superheroes React to Kyle Rittenhouse
I was inspired by this comic:
What you’re about to read is how (most of) these superheroes would REALLY react to Kyle Rittenhouse, the infamous teen who shot three people in Kenosha, Wisconsin, killing two. I’d draw these scenarios myself, but I’ve no artistic talent beyond the written word, so I’ll just be writing these down. Feel free to draw them, all I ask is to be credited.
Superman: he melts the gun with his eye beams, then says to Kyle “you have no right to protect property that isn’t yours by using lethal force.”
Batman: Ties up Kyle with his Batarang and rope, then says to the boy “learn to deal non-lethally with crime, kid. If not, you’ll never deserve a badge.”
Wonder Woman: Deflects all of Kyle’s bullets with her wrist guards, then says to him “You claim to be angry at injustice, yet you raise your weapon against those who are angry at having witnessed injustice. If you truly cared, you’d be angry at those who abuse their power.”
Spider-Man: Webs up Kyle, then says to him “I don’t know how you’ll sleep tonight, buddy. If I did what you did, I’d never get another wink of sleep for the rest of my life.”
Doctor Manhattan: With a wave of his hand evaporates the gun, and says “You are no law enforcer, you are but a child with a deadly weapon he has no business using.”
Shazzam: Quickly yanks the gun away from Kyle, and says “Heroes don’t kill people!”
Deadpool: He lets himself get shot by Kyle, then goes “You know these guys are pissed, right? Cuz the other day a black dude got shot by cops like seven times? Cuz, you know, they ain’t supposed to be doing that?”
Wolverine: Doesn’t even bother to wield his claws; he just marches up to Kyle and sneers “Ya ain’t got enough bullets, bub.”
Hulk: He’d yell at Kyle’s face, calling him “puny boy!”
Flash: He’d quickly yank the gun right out of Kyle’s hands and say “Until you learn why you don’t need this to restore peace and order, you’ll never deserve a badge.”
Thor: Would crush Kyle’s gun using Mjolnir and tell him “I was once like thee; a whelp unworthy of being a defender. Until thou learnest how to uphold thine land’s laws without resorting to violence, thou must be detained!”
And finally, though he doesn’t appear in the image…
Captain America: He knocks out Kyle’s gun away by using his shield, while saying “How DARE you take up arms against those protesting an injustice done to a fellow citizen! If you cared about this land or her people as you claim to, you’d be marching WITH these protesters, as I AM!!!”
