Dream Girl

I was in the hospital because I required a very complicated surgery. What it was, I’d rather not say. There was a TV I could watch, and the nurses would often bring me a book to read, but it was still a lonely, soul draining experience. The problem wasn’t just the fact that the room was devoid of any cheerful decor and was simply all white sheets with concrete walls painted blue and pearly white tiled floors; but that I was constantly surrounded by tubes and machines. My roommate, who spent most of the day sleeping, had it far worse than I did. I always felt bad for him, considering he was already a senior, but I think he felt worse for me, since I wasn’t even eighteen yet.

One night was different, though. I was asleep, and I dreamt about her for the first time. She was beautiful, beyond any description, any word that the human mind could come up with. She had red hair, blue eyes, milky white skin, and a smile that could shine brighter than the sun. I will always remember that dream…

I was in a field of flowers, and she was waving at me, smiling that smile of hers. I waved back, and she beckoned me to join her. I hesitated at first, but as I got near her, she grabbed my hand and all of a sudden she and I were jumping off a waterfall! I swear, I could smell the water, feel the wind on my face as she and I fell down. I could feel the cool water all around me as she and I were submerged, and I kid you not, I can still remember every detail of that dream, as if I had truly lived it. She and I swam through a cave illuminated by various glowing crystals. The only sound to be heard being the water as we waded through what I thought was an underground lake.

“This is fun, isn’t it?” She said as she smiled at me. I smiled back. In that moment, I had forgotten the pain I had been feeling since before I had to be taken to the hospital, the pain that kept me in that bed, isolated from the rest of the world save for those who would visit me for an hour a day.

“This is great.” I said to her. She and I were dove under the water, and we fell from the sky. The wind was blowing in my face as she and I plummeted towards the earth below. But we started slowing down, until we gently landed on a land of pink grass, chocolate flowers, and hills of candy corn, where rivers were made of pink milk, and the aroma of sweets filled the air.

“Here!” She picked out two flowers, gave me one, and bit off a petal from hers. I nibbled mine, and I swear I could taste the milk chocolately goodness, and feel the smooth, creamy texture of fresh chocolate. I ate my flower in one quick bite, savoring the sweet, sweet flavor.

“Great, huh?” She giggled. “Say, what’s your-”

And on that moment I woke up, reeling in pain around my abdominal area and lower back. I kept pressing the button that called for the nurse, screaming in so much agony that even my roommate woke up, frightened for my condition.

My surgery was rescheduled for that day. I was scared, terrified even. I wanted to go home. I wanted to play soccer with the other guys in school, to run, to feel the air on my face. I wanted to feel the warmth of the Sun on my skin. But most of all, I wanted….

…her.

It was stupid of me. She was a figment of my imagination, a part of a very vivid dream I had, nothing more. She couldn’t exist. She didn’t exist. I kept telling myself that, because I felt that, if I held onto the slightest hope that she was real, I’d go insane.

But I kept focusing on that dream, because honestly it was the only thing I could think of that would not drive me suicidal. That girl was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life, and I didn’t even learn her name. I talked about my dream to my room mate, who chuckled.

“Kids these days”, he said between wheezes. “Well, better to have a wet dream than the kind of dreams I get, I tell ya what.”

“What do you dream about?”, I asked him.

“Vietnam”, he responded, his gaze becoming distant and pensive. He started to wheeze once more, so he took out his inhaler. “But I’d rather not talk more about it. Ya know the thing ‘bout dreams? People think dreams ain’t real, but the truth is, dreams are your mind telling you something.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, kid. So maybe your mind is telling ya who the love of yer life is.” He said, and then chuckled. “Or maybe your mind is just trying to relax ya by showing ya a hot chick! Lord knows that’s how me and the boys would relax back in the day!”

The nurses came to reel me into the surgery ward. I breathed in the anesthesia they gave me, and once more, fell asleep. And when I woke up, I had a huge scar around my lower back. It hurt a bit.

Then the doctor told me I’d likely never walk again. That hurt a lot more than anything I had ever felt before.

That night, I dreamt once more…

I was in a field, and just a few yards in front of me there was a party. The music was cheerfuly blaring out of a radio, people were dancing and laughing, kids were playing with balls and sticks. The Sun was shining, birds were singing, and I just sat there on the grass, incapable of moving, of joining the fun. I motioned towards the people.

“Hey!” I yelled, waving at them. “I want to join you! Please?”

But they ignored me. I waved harder at them, but I could not get up. “Can I join you guys? Please?”

But no answer. I was invisible to them. I started to cry, which was embarrassing for me since I’m a guy and all. “Please…I’m all alone…”

The party continued. I could hear the laughter, the singing, the fun being had all the way over there, just a short walk away. But I could not move at all. Tears streamed down my face as I sobbed. “Please…”

“Sure!” I had recognized that voice. I looked up, and there she was again. The same girl from my dream, giving me her hand. I smiled at her, wiping the tears from my eyes. I took her hand, and suddenly I felt my body levitate. I was at that moment sitting on a cloud. “You haven’t done that before! That’s so cool!”

“Let’s go out and have some fun!” I said to her.

She ran towards the party, carrying my hand, as I floated beside her on my cloud. As we reached the party, I noticed that no one else there had a face. The music stopped, and everyone stared at us. At least, I could feel them staring.

“Hi…” I nervously said. “Can I…can we party with you guys too?”

The faceless people stood there in silence. I turned to the girl of my dreams, who seemed equally nervous. A young, faceless girl walked up to me, holding a piece of cake in her hands. She reached up, offering it to me, and I took it. The faceless people then errupted into a strange, but joyous hollering, and the music started up again, and everyone began dancing once more.

“This is awesome!” The girl said as she grabbed my hands, dancing with me. “I wanted to come here, but I didn’t wanna go alone!”

“Yeah?” I looked at her, and my heart began to race. “What’s your name?”

“You didn’t catch it last time? I’m Lucy! Lucy Winslow!” She said to me, giggling a bit awkwardly.

“I’m Trevor Clinton!” I responded. And she and I danced together, smiling and laughing until I woke up again.

I told my room mate about my dream. He seemed pensive for a moment.

“Lucy Winslow?”, he asked. “Know anyone with that name?”

“No…”, I responded.

“That’s weird…”, he said. He got up. “I’m going for a stroll. Need anything?”

“Nothing, thanks…” And he left. For the rest of the day, she was all I could think about. Just who was she? Who was Lucy Winslow?

Night fell, and I dreamed again…

I was alone in an empty void. Nothing after nothing surrounded me, nothing above me, nothing below me, nothing everywhere. Was I floating? Was I standing? I couldn’t tell. I was just there, existing.

I heard a sob. I looked around me, and saw Lucy a few feet away, crying. I went to her, I don’t know how, but I moved myself towards her. I gently held her by the shoulder.

“Hey”, I said to her, smiling. She looked at me, wiped her tears and smiled back.

“Hi…”, she said, weakly. “I’m glad you came…”

“You OK?”, I asked her.

“Kinda…you?”, she asked.

“Yeah, thanks for asking. Where are we?”, I asked while holding onto her shoulder.

“I don’t know. I’ve never been here before.”, she said, crying again. “I’m scared.”

“It’s OK.”, I say to her.

“No it’s not! I’m all alone in the world!”, she bursts into tears. “I don’t have friends, my family doesn’t come see me, and I’m just so sick of-”

“You have me!”, I said as I hugged her as tightly as I could. I felt my hurt threatening to burst out of my chest, my tears felt like hot irons in my eyes, my throat was dry, and my entire body was shaking. “I…I love you, Lucy.”

She pushed me away, a hurt look in her eyes. “But…you’re just a dream I’m having…”

“A dream? Me?”, I was confused. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re just this guy I dream about!”, she said as she moved away from me. “You’re not real…even though I wish to God you were…”

“But I AM real!”, I yell at her. “I thought YOU were the dream!”

“Shut up!”, she yelled out. “Just leave me alone. You’re not real, you’re not…real.”

And her hair began to fall off, her skin became sickly, her eyes became distant and morose. And the sound of her sobs was the last thing I remembered before waking up. I sat up, trying to feel my legs, which for all intents and purposes were useless for me. I looked out the window; the Sun was just coming out. I was tired.

I thought about that dream again and again. Why would I dream that? Did I want to get rid of Lucy?

Did I really love her? Was I really in love with a figment of my imagination?

It was about nine in the morning when my room mate entered our room. He looked like he had seen a ghost. He sat down on his bed, shaking. He looked at me.

“If I introduced you to someone, would you hold it against me?”, he asked, his voice trembling. I merely shook my head, confused and concerned for him.

“What’s wrong, Chuck?”, I asked as he helped me into my wheelchair.

“Well, you know, I like walking round the hallways in the wee hours of the morn, right?”, he said, his voice still trembling, as he pushed me down the hall. “Well, this morning, I heard a girl crying. And I went into her room and asked her what was wrong. And she told me, well…”

His voice trailed off. I looked up at him, and his eyes had this shocked look to them, I could never describe it. I was silent. What happened to him? I wanted to know. He told me the nurses were going to put me in a chair and escort me somewhere, to a ‘friend’ of mine who was sick. I merely ran with it because, well, I needed one hell of a distraction, and this was a good distraction as any. The nurses came by about an hour later, wheelchair in hand. They picked me up and strapped me in, and led me out the room, with Chuck following us as best he could. We eventually reached the room of a cancer patient. The nurses said they’d leave us alone for fifteen minutes, and opened the door to let me in.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I didn’t want to believe my eyes.

The girl in front of me looked at me, her eyes widened in shock as she sat up on her bed. Several bags of clear liquid were around her, strapped to her arm. Her head was bandaged, her eyes puffy, but with a strikingly blue color.

Lucy’s blue color.

“Is your name…”, she swallowed hard. “T-Tre-v-vor?”

“Trevor Clinton.”, I said, my voice shaking, tears running down my cheek. “Lucy?”

She nodded. Not another word needed to be said. She and I hugged each other without hesitation, while Chuck looked on, tears running down his eyes. This was no dream. I kept telling myself that this was no dream. This was real. This was right.

The doctors told me I’d never walk again. The doctors told her she’d not live past the year. That was five years ago, and our wedding is tomorrow.